Yesterday I spent the day at the ranch with the cowboy. He gave me a tour of his "projects". I am not sure how he finds time to ranch or farm, he has a lifetime of things he wants to do in each of three or four outbuildings. He has accumulated them for 40+ years and put them aside for when there is TIME! It is almost as bad as my "want to finish" piles, and I am not trying to raise hay and cows!! -that's funny- He is talking of retiring. I am wondering about the process he plans on implementing, it will take major changes no matter what he plans on doing. I've been "retired" since 1994, granted it was not a planned retirement, it is not easy. Just learning that there is not a have to "something or other" waiting to pounce is hard. I think I am comfortably entrenched in the theory that if it is still there tomorrow, it can probably wait for another few days. If not, then somebody else was more worried about it than I was and they did it. I have always had the attitude that if it wasn't screaming or bleeding it probably was not THAT important anyway. Didn't always make me popular, but it works for me. I know how the cowboy can retire without ever leaving the ranch. If he just cleaned up his outbuildings and left the ranching to his daughter and her significant other he could retire in place (R.I.P.). To be R.I.P.'d is not a bad plan, then there is little agonizing withdrawal. I just realized..... being R.I.P.'d and ripped ARE NOT THE SAME, although the withdrawal can just as painful. Helping him retire is going to be a lot of work, we will see how this goes. An extended trip to the Northwest Territories might be a starting off place.
Today, I don't have to go to town. YEA!!!!! I am sitting here posting to my blog and not taking a much needed shower, not making sour dough bread (but getting high on the fumes), not running a vacuum after dust bunnies or anything else that is waiting for me to do. Think I am retired? I am getting giddy from fermenting dough fumes though. Later!!
Monday, August 04, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Hot !!
It is the dog days of summer and it's hot! It didn't cool off here the air conditioner is running, it is storming with lightning, thunder and rain. I have been knocked off line and the sun has gone away. The cool breeze that we usually get is non existent. I drove to Helena to get some cipro, I have a bladder infection. That is so much fun to get when it is hot.
Travel plans:
Alaska 5 Sept to 24 Sept
Oklahoma 28 Sept to October 12
It won't give me much time home, but it will be EXITING!!!
Oklahoma I've been to it is a pretty state in a Oklahoma way. It is flat, dry and buggy. I love bugs, so that is not a problem for me.
Alaska, now that is different. I have never been there, not for the want of going, but because it has always been put on the back burner. I've been told that it is an experience that one has to experience to appreciate. Travel logs and pictures don't do it justice, I'm told. Until they invent smell-a-vision I agree. To experience anywhere it must be breathed in. I've been promised that I will experience fishing on a body of water that sees few people. NOW that will be an experience, to not have many people is unusual. Shrimping is promised, fresh sea food and spectacular vistas. I am fairly well traveled and have see a lot, so I am anticipating an experience to dwarf all others. I will be taking my camera and will have enormous files of pictures if it a spectacular as promised. You will all have to visit my Facebook to see how it impresses me.
Oh, I've been promised cold. I guess that is Alaska in September. I will need to update my cold wardrobe. I don't wear a coat here in Montana most of the time, I do have one but don't wear it often. Footwear, I guess my tennie runners will not be sufficient I will have to invest in warmer footwear. I am already spending money in my mind. This is going to be one expensive shopping trip. Then I will come home and go to Oklahoma were the temperatures in October although chilly are above freezing. I have to pack two suitcases.
I have to go work this out. Later
Travel plans:
Alaska 5 Sept to 24 Sept
Oklahoma 28 Sept to October 12
It won't give me much time home, but it will be EXITING!!!
Oklahoma I've been to it is a pretty state in a Oklahoma way. It is flat, dry and buggy. I love bugs, so that is not a problem for me.
Alaska, now that is different. I have never been there, not for the want of going, but because it has always been put on the back burner. I've been told that it is an experience that one has to experience to appreciate. Travel logs and pictures don't do it justice, I'm told. Until they invent smell-a-vision I agree. To experience anywhere it must be breathed in. I've been promised that I will experience fishing on a body of water that sees few people. NOW that will be an experience, to not have many people is unusual. Shrimping is promised, fresh sea food and spectacular vistas. I am fairly well traveled and have see a lot, so I am anticipating an experience to dwarf all others. I will be taking my camera and will have enormous files of pictures if it a spectacular as promised. You will all have to visit my Facebook to see how it impresses me.
Oh, I've been promised cold. I guess that is Alaska in September. I will need to update my cold wardrobe. I don't wear a coat here in Montana most of the time, I do have one but don't wear it often. Footwear, I guess my tennie runners will not be sufficient I will have to invest in warmer footwear. I am already spending money in my mind. This is going to be one expensive shopping trip. Then I will come home and go to Oklahoma were the temperatures in October although chilly are above freezing. I have to pack two suitcases.
I have to go work this out. Later
Friday, August 01, 2008
A change
I guess you could say I am not a blogger. My last blog posting was three years ago, I am surprised that this page is still active. I will try again.
There have been changes in that time, most so big that my life and the lives that we touch every day are changed forever. The biggest change is that my husband of 37 years was diagnosed with cancer and after a battle that lasted a mere 16 months died. I won't go into the whole process but I will say my life has changed, some changes have been unpredictable. When he was first gone, I was not sure that I could survive alone. I had never been alone and it was so frightening that I was paralyzed with grief and fear. I could not conceive that I would ever be safe or happy again. I was becoming the whimpering, needy widow and it was scaring me. I am usually able to spring back from losses and move on. I am, after all, a realist.
I did things that were fulfilling for me at the time. Most of them were surrounding my family, that was a way to keep sameness alive. I did join a few self help bulletin boards that helped me get through the darkest days. Mostly by reading post by people who were in a lot of pain. That was a good thing to do, I could see where languishing in self gratifying pain would lead me. I decided that this is not the place I wanted to be and I started to look outward again.
I could not have envisioned the path I would take to get where I am now a year and half later. Looking back at my last posting, I was caught up in the growth issues of our county and volunteer services. It is still a big issue, it is the same as it was in 2005, only I am not part of the discussion on the same level as I was then. I am caught up in the growth issues of me.
I was told all of my life I was born an old woman. I am not going to die an old woman. I have said since coming through the veil of grief that last year was my "crazy" year. I am not so sure I am going to give up "crazy" so easily. I think I like "crazy".
I have tackled floor covering installation, plumbing and learned that I am not quite so helpless as I was told. I have traveled to Missouri this year and I am planning a trip by train to Oklahoma with my girlfriend. I am going to Alaska with my boyfriend. I am "crazy".
Boyfriend! At my age to have a boyfriend, now that is "crazy". He is different than my previous life's partner. With my husband, there was an easy understanding. We could finish each other's sentences. We knew what the other was thinking and why. With my boyfriend there is a different level of understanding and simpatico that is a little unnerving after only a few months. I am looking forward to the "rest of the story".
There have been changes in that time, most so big that my life and the lives that we touch every day are changed forever. The biggest change is that my husband of 37 years was diagnosed with cancer and after a battle that lasted a mere 16 months died. I won't go into the whole process but I will say my life has changed, some changes have been unpredictable. When he was first gone, I was not sure that I could survive alone. I had never been alone and it was so frightening that I was paralyzed with grief and fear. I could not conceive that I would ever be safe or happy again. I was becoming the whimpering, needy widow and it was scaring me. I am usually able to spring back from losses and move on. I am, after all, a realist.
I did things that were fulfilling for me at the time. Most of them were surrounding my family, that was a way to keep sameness alive. I did join a few self help bulletin boards that helped me get through the darkest days. Mostly by reading post by people who were in a lot of pain. That was a good thing to do, I could see where languishing in self gratifying pain would lead me. I decided that this is not the place I wanted to be and I started to look outward again.
I could not have envisioned the path I would take to get where I am now a year and half later. Looking back at my last posting, I was caught up in the growth issues of our county and volunteer services. It is still a big issue, it is the same as it was in 2005, only I am not part of the discussion on the same level as I was then. I am caught up in the growth issues of me.
I was told all of my life I was born an old woman. I am not going to die an old woman. I have said since coming through the veil of grief that last year was my "crazy" year. I am not so sure I am going to give up "crazy" so easily. I think I like "crazy".
I have tackled floor covering installation, plumbing and learned that I am not quite so helpless as I was told. I have traveled to Missouri this year and I am planning a trip by train to Oklahoma with my girlfriend. I am going to Alaska with my boyfriend. I am "crazy".
Boyfriend! At my age to have a boyfriend, now that is "crazy". He is different than my previous life's partner. With my husband, there was an easy understanding. We could finish each other's sentences. We knew what the other was thinking and why. With my boyfriend there is a different level of understanding and simpatico that is a little unnerving after only a few months. I am looking forward to the "rest of the story".
Sunday, May 22, 2005
And Now
It's been 6 months, hmmmmmmmmmm, am I really a blogger? Well that is a leading question, I guess the answer is not to be found here. A lot has happened in six months. The world has come to an end for thousands of people. Natural disasters, human disasters and just old age are the cause. No disasters here at least none so great to be reported to the world.
My life is begining to resemble what I envisioned as a young adult, being able to do things because I want to or not doing things because I don't want to.
Finally, it has begun to warm, The lilacs did not get frozen and are in full intoxicatingly fragrant bloom, spring bulbs are up and the deer are hungerly devouring the most succulent of them and teseting the ones they don't really like just to see if the are just as bad this year. Looks like we will have apples both regular and crab, the choke cherries are ready to burst and if our rain continues they will be juicy and sweet (or as sweet as a choke cherry can be).
In my volunteer life, our rural Fire District is trying to evolve and meet the urbanization that is threatning the farming and ranching way of life. Our firefighters are all volunteer and do not get a paycheck their only reward is a thank you for not letting my _?__ burn. Usually the blank is field, hay, hay barn, cash crop and occassionaly house. It is going to be that the blank will be almos exclusivley my house or family and that is going to be all too soon. We have subdivisions being built, approved or planned that will double or triple the population of this sparsly populated county in the next five to ten years. This county has had less than 5,000 people in it since we moved here twelve years ago. Historicly the population has hovered just under 3,000 for 200 years. There is one subdivision that is propsed that is twice the size of the only incorporated city in the county, that will be on the planning board's agenda within the next year.
Our delema is where do we get the volunteers or the money to hire firefighters. We don't even have a paid chief. Our Chief has a day job. The requirements of this urbanization is becoming and will become a full time job for several people. right now our Chief reports that he commits 30 hours a week to his duties. We reimburse him 300.00 a month for his gas, He gives the county taxpayers 127.5 hours a month.
Growing pains! well for another day
Friday, December 31, 2004
Today
Well, here it is, today. Things are about the same as yesterday. I am not complaining you know, just rambling. Heard form my sister in Missouri she has been in the hospital with pneumonia. My sister in Washington sent a Christmas letter outlining her exploits for the year, seems it must have been exciting. One of our daughters is traveling all over the states escorting big trucks and their oversized loads, her husband hears of her adventures on the phone at night, he is home with his wrecker and the two dogs. Christmas celebrations are all around and the weather is starting to believe it must be winter. Here in Montana where it is supposed to be snowy and cold, it is sunny, little snow and relatively warm. We, where we are, haven't seen much of the Montana severity yet. Come January, I bet that will change. Sunday, I will be heading off to church soon so till next time.
Friday, December 03, 2004
The first time
I am at an age that a elementary aged scholar knew was not attainable. Grandma wasn't even that old , though I am sure she was, 55 is OLD!! When a person turned 50 that was a half of a hundred years and to last 5 years beyond that . . . . .
The thought first occurred to me in elementary school when the teacher was encouraging forward thought. She had instructed my class to think what the world would be like in the year 2000, it was about 1960, too far off for my young mind to conceive. I then decided that I would never get that old, and here I am.
Life has sure been an adventure. I like to say that I have been in and lived in every state west of the Mississippi River, though not quite accurate I have lived a lot of places. I attended so many schools that I have very vague impressions of only a few. I remember going to first grade , I never did attend kindergarten, I was in Stockton, California. I then meandered over the southern part of the country for the next six years and ended up in Manila, Utah on the shores of the Green River, for a year, then back to California for the next four years. Then I turned 18 and left home for more acceptable conditions and graduated high school in Oregon.
Now thirty some odd years later, I am in Montana.
And I do live on the end of the road to now where. The closest milk is from the milk lady who milks her own cows and has chickens and sells eggs too. She grows orchids and bromiliads in a sunroom of her house perched on a barren bluff over looking the wind swept Missouri River basin. A trip to town is an all day affair and we do it all too often. I make bread and make do a lot. We do live in a small community of about 75 souls and don't have a bar, stop light, grocery store or rush hour. Our traffic jam is usually a octogenarian farmer talking to his ninety year old rancher neighbor over the white line in the road through rolled down equally as old pickup truck windows. I am a youngster here. Here where cattle outnumber people, 3 to 1, life is slower.
The thought first occurred to me in elementary school when the teacher was encouraging forward thought. She had instructed my class to think what the world would be like in the year 2000, it was about 1960, too far off for my young mind to conceive. I then decided that I would never get that old, and here I am.
Life has sure been an adventure. I like to say that I have been in and lived in every state west of the Mississippi River, though not quite accurate I have lived a lot of places. I attended so many schools that I have very vague impressions of only a few. I remember going to first grade , I never did attend kindergarten, I was in Stockton, California. I then meandered over the southern part of the country for the next six years and ended up in Manila, Utah on the shores of the Green River, for a year, then back to California for the next four years. Then I turned 18 and left home for more acceptable conditions and graduated high school in Oregon.
Now thirty some odd years later, I am in Montana.
And I do live on the end of the road to now where. The closest milk is from the milk lady who milks her own cows and has chickens and sells eggs too. She grows orchids and bromiliads in a sunroom of her house perched on a barren bluff over looking the wind swept Missouri River basin. A trip to town is an all day affair and we do it all too often. I make bread and make do a lot. We do live in a small community of about 75 souls and don't have a bar, stop light, grocery store or rush hour. Our traffic jam is usually a octogenarian farmer talking to his ninety year old rancher neighbor over the white line in the road through rolled down equally as old pickup truck windows. I am a youngster here. Here where cattle outnumber people, 3 to 1, life is slower.
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